everytime i open up

i feel like a real burden

it haunts me to my dreams

it does not stop hurting

my hand soothingly brought

to my aching mid

i cannot bring myself

to say what i just thought

i´m eager to perform

but too scared of the fall

what if i don´t know it all

if only you would know

how painful it can be

you would not put focus

on just the things you see

i wish i did not need my brain

to hand me a whole list of five

thousand things i can not, have not,

will not do,

in order to survive