I should have

unsure and apologetic
i turn the corner
looking at her with uncertainty

how will she react?
is she thankful
or is she mad at me?

i know that this is huge,
i definitely shouldn´t wait
for welcoming eyes

i know that this is bad,
which is why she looks at me
and her smile dies

the first time i speak to her
she turns around
and scoots away

she can´t do it,
she says,
i guess this is how i pay

i wanted to do the right thing,
help in every way i could

now i know it wasn´t right,
i did opposite of what i should

she tells me it won´t work,
i turn on my heel
and she points to his door

i seek reassurance and i stay
while i´d give everything
to be swallowed by the floor

i shut the door and keep to myself,
it´s the best i can do
when coming here

i look like the aggressor in a war
although i feel more like
a hunted deer in fear

i do not dare to look,
i do not dare
to speak to her

i know she doesn´t approve,
she wants me far gone

but now i´m trapped
between him and her - a pawn.